I suppose it is time for me to stop feeling the unspeakable loss of the so called holliday season and assume the normalcies of life again.
I began this blog initially to give me a place where I could vent and perhaps even a forum to speak to some issues that I felt were important at least to me.I feel as though I have done this up till this past Christmas season when I recieved news that rocked my belief system down to its very core. I can't speak freely of it due to legal issues,but I can say that in all of my many experiences in life this was undoubtably the very worst one to try to cope with. I had my heart ripped from my chest and stomped on like it was a roach on someones kitchen floor.I commited the ( I suppose ) unforgivable act of loving someone wholeheartedly. In truth more than I loved myself. I would of gladly given my life to help her in the smallest way. I placed all my hopes for the future on her tiny little shoulders.
In exchange she loved me so hard I felt like her hero. I knew that when she would get here I could hear her squeeling to be let out of her car seat so she could play with Happy(her name for me). I would happily do anything she wanted at anytime,and she knew that and ruled gently from her throne. I felt immortal and I thought I looked like a giant in her eyes as she smiled my way.
It turns out that this child has been taken from my life without so much as a days warning. I don`t know when I will heal or even if,but I do know that she would want to see Happy smile again and for my little princess I will try.I will always remember the gentleness of her hands on my face as she kissed me goodnight or how warm it was in her arms when she gave me a good morning hug.If you ever read this thanks for loving me, I will NEVER forget you. You are the creme de la creme.
2 comments:
In some states, Grandparents have rights, too; you may want to check with a lawyer.
There is nothing wrong with loving wholeheartedly. It is only when the WHOLE heart is involved that you feel truly loved.
You were loved and still are.
I do not think her Momma is going to have a good time in the near future when the wee one starts yelling to go see Happy!
Divorce is a bitch, especially when you are married to one. I should know, I got rid of mine 16 years ago.
Come to think of it, I never loved him as much as I do Lee.
You and me, Bro, never knew a true love from family, I guess we had to have someone love us in order to experience it ourselves.
Remember, there are people who love you in Dixie!
I promise you this one thing. If I ever come across "She would will not be named" I am going to pinch off her head and shit down her neck. You have my vow.
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